Dear Dr. Pat:
Lately there has been a lot of attention in the media on the subject of raising gender-neutral or gender-less children. It is a notion we are intrigued in and considering for our own baby when he or she is born. In your professional opinion, what are the pros and cons of raising a gender-neutral child?
Dr. Pat responds:
In my opinion, it is probably impossible to raise a child without them becoming aware of their gender. Moreover, many people will react to a child in a gendered way. By pretending to raise a gender-neutral child, you may heighten awareness of gender. You may increase the chances of your child being treated more like a boy or girl as the case may be.
My own opinion is that raising a child who is aware of and proud of being a male or female is a good thing. I believe we should raise each child to believe that he or she can do or think whatever he or she wishes. There is no reason why girls cannot aspire to be brain surgeons or plumbers. Boys can aspire to be nurses or kindergarten teachers. Girls can be ambitious, aggressive, and career oriented. Boys can be gentle and family-oriented.
We should model for our children and encourage them to follow their dreams and not be constrained by gender.
In summary, I am all in favour of raising children who are not constrained by gender. I fear that attempting to raise a gender-neutral child is impossible and may cause more emphasis on gender than is wanted.