By Patrick J. McGrath, OC, PhD, FRSC
Question:
Dear Dr. Pat, my 11-year-old daughter is a tomboy. She doesn’t fit in well with the girls at school; they are generally quite cliquey. But she has some close friends who are boys. The boys are her age, and they are really great friends to her. They do things she likes to do, for example, they play sports and run a club together that is dedicated to dragons. Should I be concerned at all that she hangs out with boys more?
Dr. Pat responds:
There are some survey studies that have found a relationship between girls who have a higher percentage of friends who are boys and having anti-social problems. However, these studies might not take into account who the boys are and what the kids do.
The problem is older boys or boys who are in trouble a lot. Older boys and antisocial boys are more likely to introduce girls to sex, booze, crime, and drugs.
Parents should always be aware of who their kids hang out with. Make sure you get to know your daughter’s friends. Invite them to your home.
Make sure you know what your daughter is doing with her friends. Playing sports and running a club are both positive. Hanging out at malls is not. Make sure she lets you know where she is and what she is doing.
You should be glad your daughter has good friends that are interested in fun things.
Patrick J. McGrath OC, PhD, FRSC is a clinical psychologist and a researcher. He is Professor of Psychology, Pediatrics, and Psychiatry at Dalhousie University and Vice President - Research at IWK Health Centre in Halifax. He is also the CEO of the Strongest Families Institute, which provides mental health care to families across Canada.
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