Should we get a pet?

// News / Ask Dr. Pat

By Patrick J. McGrath, OC, PhD, FRSC

Question:

We have a three-year-old son and I would like to get a dog for him (and me). I grew up having a dog. We had three over the years and I always remember the wonderful times we had together. My wife never had a dog and she says the dog might bite or give our son allergies. She is also worried that our son might harm the dog and that she will end up having to care for the dog. We usually can see eye-to-eye on things but not on this. What is your advice?

Dr. Pat responds:

Let me declare a conflict of interest. Although I never had a dog as a child, we have a wonderful seven-year-old standard poodle, named Fergus. We also have a Devon Rex cat, Maska, whom I tolerate.

That being said, there are two parts to your question. The first is about how to deal with differences between you and your wife and the second is about children and dogs.

Respect your wife's opinions. Her views, like yours, are founded on experience. Neither is right or wrong. Gently probe her feelings about dogs. She may just have had no contact. Maybe she had a negative experience with dogs and is afraid.

Share with her memories of your dogs. She may be willing to spend some time with a dog to see what it is like. See if you can visit a friend with a dog. Choose a calm and friendly dog. Don't push your wife too hard.

Getting a pet should be a family decision. Do not get a dog if your wife remains opposed. It would not be fair to her or to the dog to bring it into a house where one family member remains opposed to it being there.

Many children develop warm and loving relationships with pets. The benefits of having a dog include:

Children can learn the responsibility of caring for a dog.
Children can enjoy the companionship of a dog.
All can benefit from exercise from walking and playing with a dog.

Some studies have shown that having a dog when a child is young can help prevent allergies. This is because early exposure to allergens may strengthen the immune system. Some studies do not show this.

There are risks to having a dog. The most serious are bites and infection.

One person a year dies in Canada from a dog bite. Most children are bitten by a dog they know, most often a neighbour's dog. But family dog bites are also common.

Children are more likely to be bitten than adults. The bite is more often in the face or head.

The Canadian Institute of Child Health advises that one should wait until a child is five years old before getting a dog.

Obedience school is an important preventive strategy. The owners of most dogs who bite never went to obedience school. If you get a dog, the entire family should go to obedience school.

Select a calm and friendly dog. Anxious or aggressive dogs are more likely to bite. Teach your child to never hit or tease a dog and to recognize when a dog is upset.

Never leave a child below six years of age unsupervised with a dog.

Dogs can spread parasites such as roundworm that can cause serious harm to children. Make sure your dog's vaccinations are up to date. De-worm the dog regularly. Teach your child to wash his hands after touching the dog. Do not let a dog lick the face of children.

Do not forget what is best for the dog. If you are not going to be able to spend time with the dog and to exercise him regularly, don't get a dog.

Patrick J. McGrath OC, PhD, FRSC is a clinical psychologist and a researcher. He is Professor of Psychology, Pediatrics, and Psychiatry at Dalhousie University and Vice President - Research at IWK Health Centre in Halifax. He is also the CEO of the Strongest Families Institute, which provides mental health care to families across Canada.