Palliative care for brain tumours: GrievingPPalliative care for brain tumours: GrievingPalliative care for brain tumours: GrievingEnglishNeurologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)BrainNervous systemNAAdult (19+)NA2009-07-10T04:00:00ZKaren Drybrough, RN, MScN Ute Bartels, MD Laura Janzen, PhD, CPsych, ABPP-CNFlat ContentHealth A-Z<p>Losing a child is one of the most difficult losses to deal with. In-depth advice on coping with grief and finding help from Canadian Paediatric Hospitals</p><p>You will probably be overwhelmed with a range of emotions. Losing a child is one of the most difficult losses to deal with. No parent expects to outlive their child. You may feel sad one minute and angry the next. You may feel shock, denial, and depression. Sometimes you feel these emotions altogether or one after the other. Often they come without warning. You may also experience a tremendous emotional release if you've been holding your emotions in throughout the course of your child's illness. </p><h2>Key points</h2> <ul><li>Every individual grieves differently and experiences different emotions at different times.</li> <li>It is important to allow time to grieve and remember your child.</li> <li>Get help from bereavement or support groups, or from a individual or group therapy if you need it.</li></ul>
Soins palliatifs pour les tumeurs cérébrales : DeuilSSoins palliatifs pour les tumeurs cérébrales : DeuilPalliative care for brain tumours: GrievingFrenchNeurologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)BrainNervous systemNAAdult (19+)NA2009-07-10T04:00:00ZKaren Drybrough, RN, MScNUte Bartels, MDLaura Janzen, PhD, CPsych, ABPP-CNFlat ContentHealth A-Z<p>Perdre un enfant est l’une des pertes les plus difficiles avec lesquelles composer. Conseils approfondis sur la façon de vivre son deuil et de trouver de l’aide de la part des hôpitaux pédiatriques canadiens.</p><p>Vous serez probablement envahi par une vaste gamme d’émotions. Perdre un enfant est l’une des pertes les plus difficiles avec lesquelles composer. Aucun parent ne s’attend à survivre à son enfant. Vous pourriez être tristes un instant et en colère tout de suite après. Vous pourriez sentir un choc, un déni et une dépression. Vous pourriez parfois ressentir ces émotions en même temps ou l’une après l’autre. Elles viennent souvent sans avertissement. Vous pourriez aussi ressentir une grande libération affective si vous avez retenu vos émotions tout au long de la maladie de votre enfant. </p><h2>À retenir</h2> <ul><li>Chaque personne fait son deuil à sa façon et vit différentes émotions à des moments différents.</li> <li>Il est important de vous accorder du temps pour faire votre deuil et pour vous remémorer votre enfant.</li> <li>Obtenez de l’aide de groupes de soutien et de groupes de personnes endeuillées ou d’une thérapie individuelle ou de groupe si vous en avez besoin.</li></ul>

 

 

Palliative care for brain tumours: Grieving1392.00000000000Palliative care for brain tumours: GrievingPalliative care for brain tumours: GrievingPEnglishNeurologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)BrainNervous systemNAAdult (19+)NA2009-07-10T04:00:00ZKaren Drybrough, RN, MScN Ute Bartels, MD Laura Janzen, PhD, CPsych, ABPP-CNFlat ContentHealth A-Z<p>Losing a child is one of the most difficult losses to deal with. In-depth advice on coping with grief and finding help from Canadian Paediatric Hospitals</p><p>You will probably be overwhelmed with a range of emotions. Losing a child is one of the most difficult losses to deal with. No parent expects to outlive their child. You may feel sad one minute and angry the next. You may feel shock, denial, and depression. Sometimes you feel these emotions altogether or one after the other. Often they come without warning. You may also experience a tremendous emotional release if you've been holding your emotions in throughout the course of your child's illness. </p><h2>Key points</h2> <ul><li>Every individual grieves differently and experiences different emotions at different times.</li> <li>It is important to allow time to grieve and remember your child.</li> <li>Get help from bereavement or support groups, or from a individual or group therapy if you need it.</li></ul><h2>What feelings will you experience if your child dies?</h2> <p>You might feel relief that your child's suffering is finally over. However, you may also feel guilty about feeling relief. Remember that relief is a normal feeling that many parents and caregivers experience when their child has suffered for a long time. </p> <p>Every individual grieves differently. Well-known grief counsellor William Worden identified four phases or components of grief as follows: </p> <ul> <li> acceptance of the reality of the loss</li> <li> experience of the pain of grief</li> <li> adjustment to an environment in which the deceased is missing</li> <li> withdrawal of emotional energy from the deceased and reinvestment in another relationship</li></ul> <p>Individuals may go through these phases in steps or move back and forth between phases.</p> <h2>What are normal grief reactions?</h2> <ul> <li> crying unexpectedly</li> <li> forgetfulness</li> <li> tightening of the throat and chest</li> <li> sighing</li> <li> confusion, inability to perform simple tasks</li> <li> fatigue, restlessness </li> <li> change in sleeping habits</li> <li> apathy</li> <li> loss of appetite or overeating</li> <li> feeling of emptiness</li> <li> sense of the presence of the deceased</li> <li> frequent dreams about the deceased</li></ul> <h2>How do you cope with your feelings?</h2> <p>Give yourself time to adjust. These are immensely uncomfortable feelings to have. Initially you may just want to withdraw. Be gentle with yourself but in time try to see the good things in life and re-connect with loved ones. During this difficult time, avoid making any major life decisions, and also don't let others make decisions for you, since only you know what you need. Don't be afraid to let people know you need help; be specific when telling them how they can help by doing things such as spending time with you, doing some shopping, or helping out with child care. </p> <p>Talk about your feelings with someone close to you, someone who can listen patiently and without judging. Consider, though, that your spouse will be struggling with emotional overload too, and neither of you may be in a position to effectively comfort each other. The same may hold true for other family members and friends. </p> <p>Catch up on relationships with friends when you're ready. It might be helpful to try to make some new relationships. Reading books and poetry can provide some comfort, as can writing, perhaps in a journal, or in letters to your child. </p> <p>Consider joining a bereavement support group or speaking to a grief counsellor. The palliative care coordinator will also be following up with you periodically after the event, and they are someone who can provide support and suggest resources. </p> <p>If you are a spiritual person, your faith may provide some comfort, in the form of religious services and prayer. If you find yourself angry at God, know that this is a common reaction. Rituals like a funeral can also provide an opportunity to honour your child. </p> <p>Don't think you need to be stoic and emotionless. It's healthy to express your feelings and show your children that it’s acceptable. Say something like: "Today I'm feeling sad. How about you?" </p> <p>Grieving is a truly personal experience. Everyone grieves in their own way. There is no set time for getting over something. Know that it will be a struggle and very painful in the beginning. The intensity of your grief will change; however, it doesn't necessarily get easier in time. You won't "get over it" but you will find a way to reconcile yourself to what has happened. Denying the loss and your pain may prevent you from moving on and learning to live without your child. You won't forget your child, but simply find a new way of living that enables you to embrace new experiences. </p> <p>Sometimes the death of someone close prompts people to take up new causes to help others or to engage in new activities or meet new people. It can also prompt a bigger embracing of life and how precious it is. The bottom line is that over time, those who are grieving the loss of someone close come to accept what's happened and learn to grow again. </p> <h2>Advice for parents coping with grief</h2> <ul> <li> Take care of yourselves physically.</li> <li> Work on your own grief too.</li> <li> Deal with your feelings of guilt and blame.</li> <li> Allow surviving children their own method of grieving.</li> <li> Get help for surviving children, if they need it.</li> <li> Find healthy ways to remember your child.</li> <li> Find ways to spend time with your surviving children.</li> <li> Give your surviving children space.</li> <li> Don't compare the dead child to surviving children.</li> <li> Don't attempt to replace the dead child with surviving children.</li></ul> <h2>What if your grief is overwhelming you?</h2> <p>If you find yourself sinking into a depression or unable to cope — particularly if you withdraw from your family and can't parent your surviving children — seek out the help of a counselor or bereavement group. Major red flags include concern about your own well-being or concerns expressed by others about your well-being and thoughts of self-harm. </p> <h2>How can you remember your child?</h2> <ul> <li> Have a memorial for your child. (For more information, see the page on "Preparing for the End" in this section.)</li> <li> Have frequent and open discussions about your child.</li> <li> Share happy memories.</li> <li> Celebrate their birthday every year. Honour them on special occasions.</li> <li> Display their pictures.</li> <li> Keep a lock of their hair as a keepsake.</li> <li> Keep one of their special blankets or toys.</li> <li> Make a hand or foot print in clay as a keepsake.</li> <li> Social workers can help you find ideas for memory making. Contact your treatment team to be referred to someone who can help.</li> <li> Having a day of remembrance can be helpful to you and your family members.</li></ul> <h2>Is it normal to have an ongoing relationship with a child who has died?</h2> <p>Yes. It is very normal to continue to be attached to your child after death and continue to have a relationship. For parents, celebrating the child's birthday or having imaginary conversations with the child is very common. The same is true for siblings who include the dead child in play. </p> <h2>Advice to those grieving the loss of a child</h2> <h3>Feel the pain</h3> <p>Give into it — even give it precedence over other emotions and activities, because grief is a pain that will get in the way later if it is ignored. Realize that grief has no timetable; it is cyclical, so expect the emotions to come and go for weeks, months or even years. While a show of strength is admirable, it does not serve the need to express sadness, even when it comes out at unexpected times and places. </p> <h3>Talk about your sorrow</h3> <p>Take the time to seek comfort from friends who will listen. Let them know you need to talk about your loss. People will understand, although they may not know how to respond. If they change the subject, explain that you need to share your memories and express your sorrow. </p> <h3>Forgive yourself</h3> <p>Forgive yourself for all the things you believe you should have said or done. Also forgive yourself for the anger and guilt and embarrassment you may have felt while grieving. </p> <h3>Eat well and exercise</h3> <p>Grief is exhausting. To sustain your energy, be sure to maintain a balanced diet. Exercise is also important in sustaining energy. Find a routine that suits you — perhaps walks or bike rides with friends, or in solitude. Clear your mind and refresh your body. </p> <h3>Indulge yourself</h3> <p>Take naps, read a good book, listen to your favorite music, get a manicure, go to a ball game, rent a movie. Do something that is frivolous, distracting and that you personally find comforting. </p> <h3>Prepare for holidays and anniversaries</h3> <p>Many people feel especially "blue" during these periods, and the anniversary date of the death can be especially painful. Even if you think you’ve progressed, these dates may bring back some of your painful emotions. Make arrangements to be with friends and family members with whom you are comfortable. Plan activities that give you an opportunity to mark the anniversary. </p> <h3>Get help</h3> <p>Bereavement groups can help you recognize your feelings and put them in perspective. They can also help alleviate the feeling that you are alone. The experience of sharing with others who are in a similar situation can he comforting and reassuring. Sometimes, new friendships grow through these groups - even a whole new social network that you did not have before. </p> <p>Some groups cater to parents who have lost a child. There are also groups that do not specialize. Check with your treatment team or other bereavement support groups for more information. </p> <p>If you find that you are in great distress or in long-term depression, individual or group therapy from a counselor who specializes in grief may be advisable. You can ask your doctor for a referral. </p> <h3>Take active steps to create a new life for yourself</h3> <p>Give yourself as much time to grieve as you need. Once you find new energy, begin to look for interesting things to do. Take courses, donate time to a cause you support, meet new people, or even find a new job. </p> <p>It is often tempting to try to replace a child who has been lost. This form of reconciliation often does not work. Many people discover that there is hope after death. Death takes away, but grief can give back. It is possible to recover from grief with new strengths and a new direction. By acting on our grief, we may eventually find peace and purpose. </p>Palliative care for brain tumours: Grieving

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