Preparing for the EndPPreparing for the EndPreparing for the endEnglishCardiologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)HeartCardiovascular systemNon-drug treatment;Support, services and resourcesAdult (19+)NA2010-05-19T04:00:00ZLaura Beaune, RNChristine Newman, MD, FRCPC7.0000000000000071.00000000000001122.00000000000Flat ContentHealth A-ZAn in-depth overview to help parents and caregivers prepare for the death of a child.<br><p>A palliative care team member can help you articulate what you want to say to your child. Your child may enjoy listening to you say things like "we all love you and we will think of you always." You may want to repeat this numerous times. Or you may want to simply express your love through touch — snuggling, kisses — or soothing activities, like storytelling or gentle play. You as parents will know what you and your child are comfortable with.<br></p><h2> Key points </h2><ul><li>A palliative care team member will help you prepare to say goodbye to your child and provide support for you, your partner and your family.<br></li><li>If you are able to do so, consider making arrangements for when your child dies ahead of time, or asking someone to help make arrangements.</li></ul>
Se préparer pour la finSSe préparer pour la finPreparing for the EndFrenchCardiologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)HeartCardiovascular systemNon-drug treatment;Support, services and resourcesAdult (19+)NA2010-05-19T04:00:00ZLaura Beaune, RNChristine Newman, MD, FRCPC7.0000000000000071.00000000000001122.00000000000Flat ContentHealth A-ZFamiliarisez-vous avec la préparation au décès d’un enfant.<br><p>Un membre de l’équipe des soins palliatifs peut vous aider à exprimer ce que vous souhaitez dire à votre enfant. Votre enfant pourrait apprécier vous entendre dire des choses comme « nous t’aimons tous et nous penserons toujours à toi ». En tant que parents, vous saurez ce avec quoi vous et votre enfant êtes à l’aise.<br></p><h2> À retenir </h2><ul><li>Si vous estimez pouvoir le faire, vous pourriez envisager de planifier les funérailles de votre enfant.<br></li><li>En général, la mort semble paisible.</li></ul>

 

 

Preparing for the End1689.00000000000Preparing for the EndPreparing for the endPEnglishCardiologyChild (0-12 years);Teen (13-18 years)HeartCardiovascular systemNon-drug treatment;Support, services and resourcesAdult (19+)NA2010-05-19T04:00:00ZLaura Beaune, RNChristine Newman, MD, FRCPC7.0000000000000071.00000000000001122.00000000000Flat ContentHealth A-ZAn in-depth overview to help parents and caregivers prepare for the death of a child.<br><p>A palliative care team member can help you articulate what you want to say to your child. Your child may enjoy listening to you say things like "we all love you and we will think of you always." You may want to repeat this numerous times. Or you may want to simply express your love through touch — snuggling, kisses — or soothing activities, like storytelling or gentle play. You as parents will know what you and your child are comfortable with.<br></p><h2> Key points </h2><ul><li>A palliative care team member will help you prepare to say goodbye to your child and provide support for you, your partner and your family.<br></li><li>If you are able to do so, consider making arrangements for when your child dies ahead of time, or asking someone to help make arrangements.</li></ul><h2>How can you prepare for your child's death?</h2> <p>It's important to pre-plan your child's funeral, in spite of how hard this will be. After your child dies, you won't be in a good position to make sound decisions, and it's important that the funeral pay tribute to your child and be an event you look back on years from now as a source of comfort. A funeral director can provide the guidance you need. You might even want to consider a "children's funeral," which is a special service just for the children affected by the loss of someone they love. </p> <p>Make a decision about whether you want your child to undergo an autopsy, and whether you want to make arrangements for organ or tissue donation. The need for an autopsy will be discussed with a physician ahead of time. It is generally undertaken when there is a chance that something about the cause of death, or the underlying illness, may be uncovered. In this case, parents have the right to refuse an autopsy. If there are any suspicious aspects to the death (unexpected, unexplained) the coroner may order an autopsy, which cannot be refused. This is unlikely to occur with a palliative patient. </p> <p>Prepare an obituary or newspaper announcement ahead of time. Again, this will be very painful but you'll be able to give it more attention at this stage and choose the words you'll be satisfied with. If you would like donations to be made to a given charity or memorial fund in honour of your child, make those arrangements now. </p> <p>Make a list of people who need to be notified when your child dies. Appoint someone the keeper of the list and have them make the calls when the time comes. Arrange for friends and family to help look after any siblings and take of things like cooking and cleaning. </p> <h2>How do you plan a child's funeral?</h2> <p>Decide which type of funeral you'd like to have and where. You might want a service in a church, synagogue, mosque or other religious location. Or, you could consider a service at home, by the graveside, or in a hall. </p> <p>Take time to figure out how to commemorate your child's life and make the event as personal as possible. Try to involve any other siblings in the planning. You will want to think about the following: </p> <ul> <li>Finding a funeral home that meets your needs</li> <li>Burial or cremation </li> <li>An open or closed casket </li> <li>Having the casket at home for a while before the service </li> <li>The outfit you’d like your child to wear </li> <li>Whether you'd like to dress your child yourself </li> <li>Whether there are special items (blankets, toys, pictures, goodbye letters) you’d like to put in the coffin </li> <li>Time alone with your child at the funeral home before the service </li> <li>A small gathering or a large one </li> <li>A reception following the service </li> <li>Prayer cards, funeral program </li> <li>Photos of your child on display </li> <li>The style of the service (serious, upbeat) </li> <li>Hymns and readings, a special song to eulogize your child, music your child loved, poetry </li> <li>An opportunity for friends, relatives, classmates, teachers, and others to share memories and pay tribute </li> <li>Flowers, other decorations </li> <li>Gravestone </li> <li>Recording the service since you may be too overwhelmed to remember it </li></ul> <h2>How do you say goodbye?</h2> <p>A palliative care team member can help you articulate what you want to say to your child. You may have something specific you wish to say, like "we all love you and we will think of you always." You may want to repeat this numerous times. Or you may want to simply express your love through touch — snuggling, kisses — or soothing activities, like storytelling or gentle play. It all depends on how old your child is, what kind of relationship you have, and what you're both comfortable with. </p> <h2>When will the end come?</h2> <p>Depending on your child's condition, they may have lots of quality time ahead. If the condition is more advanced, the death may be days or weeks away. The doctor will be able to give you some idea as to what to expect. </p> <h2>How long will the actual passing take?</h2> <p>The doctor will likely be able to give you a rough idea how long it will be before your child dies. It's not an exact science, though, so it may happen more quickly or slowly than you are expecting. </p> <h2>What will it look like?</h2> <p>Generally, death is very peaceful. Many people think that a passing/dying is very traumatizing to watch, but that is rarely the case. In certain cases, however, there may be risk of bleeding, gasping, or seizures. The doctor will know and will take steps to do their best to prevent this from happening with the appropriate care. </p> <p>Physical signs that death is imminent include:</p> <ul> <li>coolness and changes in skin colour</li> <li>sleeping more and more</li> <li>disorientation about time, place, or the identity of people around</li> <li>incontinence: loss of bladder and bowel control</li> <li>loud gurgling sounds in the chest; this is normal and does not indicate the onset of severe or new pain</li> <li>restlessness or repetitive motions</li> <li>decreased appetite and thirst</li> <li>changes in breathing patterns, such as shallow breaths with periods of no breathing of five to 30 seconds and up to a full minute, followed by periods of rapid, shallow pant-like breathing (Cheyne-Stokes breathing)</li></ul> <p>Non-physical signs that death is imminent include:</p> <ul> <li>seeming unresponsive, withdrawn, or comatose</li> <li>vision-like experiences</li></ul> <h2>How will you know when your child has died?</h2> <p>The signs of death include such things as no breathing, no heartbeat, the release of the bowel and bladder, no response, eyelids slightly open, pupils enlarged, eyes fixed on a certain spot, no blinking, and the jaw relaxed and the mouth slightly open. </p> <h2>What happens after the death?</h2> <p>The body does not have to be moved until you and your family are ready. You should take as much time as you need to say good-bye to your child. Be aware that depending on when your child dies, the body may be in the house for hours or overnight. The doctor will come to your home to certify your child’s death. You can contact them directly or ask a health care professional to make the contact for you. The funeral home is then notified. Someone will come to remove the body and set up a time for you to visit the funeral home to finalize arrangements. </p> <p>Ideally before this time you will have made any necessary decisions about autopsy and organ/tissue donation.</p> <h2>What do you tell people after it happens?</h2> <p>You don't need to provide lots of detail. Be brief. Have someone activate a phone tree to alert people who need to know your child has died and what the funeral arrangements are. </p>Preparing for the End

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