Grief and lossGGrief and lossGrief and lossEnglishPregnancyAdult (19+)BodyReproductive systemNAPrenatal Adult (19+)NA2009-09-11T04:00:00ZNicolette Caccia, MEd, MD, FRCSCRory Windrim, MB, MSc, FRCSC8.0000000000000060.0000000000000848.000000000000Flat ContentHealth A-Z<p>How to effectively deal with grief after the loss of your baby during pregnancy. Ideas are provided about ways to remember your baby.</p><p>If you have lost a baby due to miscarriage, removal of an ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or therapeutic abortion, you will probably be overwhelmed with a range of emotions. Losing a baby is one of the most difficult losses to deal with, regardless of when the loss actually happened and what the circumstances were. You may feel sad one minute and angry the next. You may feel shock, denial, and depression. Sometimes you may feel these emotions altogether or one after the other. Often they come without warning.</p><h2>Key points</h2> <ul><li>Allow yourself to grieve your loss and remember that grief is cyclical and emotions may come and go for weeks, months or years.</li> <li>Remember to take care of yourself both physically and mentally by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising and catching up with friends and family when you're ready.</li> <li>If you find yourself sinking into a depression or unable to cope, seek out the help of a counsellor or bereavement group.</li></ul>
Perte et deuil du bébéPPerte et deuil du bébéGrief and lossFrenchPregnancyAdult (19+)BodyReproductive systemNAPrenatal Adult (19+)NA2009-09-11T04:00:00ZNicolette Caccia, MEd, MD, FRCSCRory Windrim, MB, MSc, FRCSC8.0000000000000060.0000000000000848.000000000000Flat ContentHealth A-Z<p>Comment faire face au chagrin associé à la perte de votre bébé en cours de grossesse. Cette section contient des idées pour vous aider à commémorer votre bébé.</p><p>Si vous avez perdu un bébé à la suite d’une fausse couche, d’une grossesse extra-utérine, d’une mortinaissance ou d’un avortement thérapeutique, vous serez probablement submergée par toute une gamme d’émotions. De toutes les pertes, celle d’un bébé est la plus éprouvante, quels que soient le moment où elle se produit et les circonstances qui l’entourent. Vous serez possiblement triste et fâchée tour à tour. Vous traverserez sans doute des épisodes de choc, de déni et de dépression, tous à la fois ou l’un après l’autre. Le plus souvent, ils surviennent sans crier gare. </p><h2>À retenir</h2> <ul><li>Donnez-vous le temps de faire votre deuil et gardez à l’esprit que le chagrin est cyclique; attendez-vous donc à ce qu’il disparaisse puis ressurgisse au fil des semaines, des mois ou des ans.</li> <li>N’oubliez pas de prendre soin de vous, à la fois physiquement et mentalement, en dormant suffisamment, en vous nourrissant bien, en faisant de l’exercice et en rendant visite à vos amis et à votre famille lorsque vous serez prête.</li> <li>Si vous plongez dans une dépression et ne parvenez pas à faire face à la situation, sollicitez de l’aide auprès d’un conseiller ou d’un groupe de consultation aux endeuillés.</li></ul>

 

 

Grief and loss386.000000000000Grief and lossGrief and lossGEnglishPregnancyAdult (19+)BodyReproductive systemNAPrenatal Adult (19+)NA2009-09-11T04:00:00ZNicolette Caccia, MEd, MD, FRCSCRory Windrim, MB, MSc, FRCSC8.0000000000000060.0000000000000848.000000000000Flat ContentHealth A-Z<p>How to effectively deal with grief after the loss of your baby during pregnancy. Ideas are provided about ways to remember your baby.</p><p>If you have lost a baby due to miscarriage, removal of an ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or therapeutic abortion, you will probably be overwhelmed with a range of emotions. Losing a baby is one of the most difficult losses to deal with, regardless of when the loss actually happened and what the circumstances were. You may feel sad one minute and angry the next. You may feel shock, denial, and depression. Sometimes you may feel these emotions altogether or one after the other. Often they come without warning.</p><h2>Key points</h2> <ul><li>Allow yourself to grieve your loss and remember that grief is cyclical and emotions may come and go for weeks, months or years.</li> <li>Remember to take care of yourself both physically and mentally by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising and catching up with friends and family when you're ready.</li> <li>If you find yourself sinking into a depression or unable to cope, seek out the help of a counsellor or bereavement group.</li></ul><p>Normal grief patterns include:</p><ul><li>crying unexpectedly </li><li>forgetfulness </li><li>tightening of the throat and chest </li><li>sighing </li><li>confusion and inability to perform simple tasks </li><li>fatigue and restlessness </li><li>change in sleeping habits </li><li>apathy </li><li>loss of appetite or overeating </li><li>feeling of emptiness </li></ul><h2>Coping with your feelings</h2><p>Give into your pain. Give it precedence over other emotions and activities, because grief is a pain that will get in the way later if it is ignored. Realize that grief has no timetable; it is cyclical, so expect the emotions to come and go for weeks, months, or even years. While a show of strength is admirable, it does not serve the need to express sadness, even when it comes out at unexpected times and places. </p><p>Forgive yourself for all the things you believe you should have done during your pregnancy. Also forgive yourself for the anger, guilt, and embarrassment you may have felt while grieving. </p><p>Give yourself time to adjust. These are immensely uncomfortable feelings. Initially you may just want to withdraw. Be gentle with yourself but in time try to see the good things in life and reconnect with loved ones. During this difficult time, avoid making any major life decisions. Don't let others make decisions for you, since only you know what you need. Don't be afraid to let people know you need help; be specific when telling them how they can help by doing things such as spending time with you, doing some shopping, or helping out with child care. </p><p>Talk about your feelings with someone close to you, someone who can listen patiently and without judging. Let them know you need to talk about your loss. People will try to understand, although they may not know how to respond. If they change the subject, explain that you need to share your feelings and express your sorrow. Consider, though, that your spouse will be struggling with emotional overload too, and neither of you may be in a position to effectively comfort each other. </p><p>Catch up on relationships with friends when you're ready. It might be helpful to try to make some new relationships. Reading books and poetry can provide some comfort, as can writing, perhaps in a journal, or in letters to your unborn baby. </p><p>Bereavement groups can help you recognize your feelings and put them in perspective. They can also help alleviate the feeling that you are alone. The experience of sharing with others who are in a similar situation can be comforting and reassuring. Sometimes, new friendships grow through these groups. </p><p>Eat well and exercise. Grief is exhausting. To sustain your energy, be sure to maintain a balanced diet. Exercise is also important in sustaining energy. Find a routine that suits you: perhaps walks or bike rides with friends, or in solitude. Clear your mind and refresh your body. </p><p>Take naps, read a good book, listen to your favourite music, get a manicure, go to a ball game, rent a movie. Do something that is frivolous, distracting, and that you personally find comforting. </p><p>Grieving is a truly personal experience. Everyone grieves in their own way. There is no set time for getting over something. Know that it will be a struggle and very painful in the beginning. The intensity of your grief will change; however, it doesn't necessarily get easier in time. You won't "get over it," but you will find a way to reconcile yourself to what has happened. Denying the loss and your pain may prevent you from moving on. </p><h2>Dealing with overwhelming grief</h2><p>If you find yourself sinking into a depression or unable to cope – particularly if you withdraw from your family and can't parent your other children – seek out the help of a counsellor or bereavement group. Major red flags include concern about your own well-being, thoughts of self-harm, or concerns expressed by others about your well-being. </p><h2>Remembering your baby</h2><p>You may wish to honour your baby by holding a memorial service. This will provide you with a special way to say good bye, and allow other friends and family members to share how you feel. You may choose to have a service led by a clergyperson at your place of worship, or hold a simple ceremony yourself. Here are a few other ways that you can memorialize your baby: </p><ul><li>plant a tree or keep a special houseplant as a living memorial to your baby </li><li>write a story or poem about your baby </li><li>give to charity in your baby’s memory </li><li>buy a piece of jewellery to symbolize your baby </li><li>make your own memorial such as a quilt or painting </li></ul>Grief and loss

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