As children enter the school-age years, they begin to show signs of a budding independence. This period of growth is also marked by the active pursuit of, and genuine appreciation for, new relationships. Parents, or primary caregivers, continue to be the most important people in their child’s life, but relationships with peers become increasingly important. In fact, the appearance of a “best friend” is considered a universal feature of the school-age years. Other significant, and often defining, characteristics of this phase of development are a child’s capacity to control their urges and conform to an appropriate standard of behaviour without direct supervision. Collectively, this is known as self-regulation.
Milestones
5- to 6-year-olds
- Are willing to play cooperatively, take turns, and share
- Show jealousy toward siblings
- Understand their own feelings
- Understand the consequences of their actions
- Enjoy playing alone, but prefer to play with friends
- Can dress themselves
- Are able to use words to describe their own feelings
- Show empathy and offer to help when they see another in distress
7- to 8-year-olds
- Show a competitive spirit when playing games
- Befriend children of the opposite gender
- Show an interest in joining a club or sports team
- Form a sense of humour and enjoy telling jokes
- Can distinguish between fantasy and reality
- Are able to do pretend play with another child or group of children
- Help out with chores at home, such as clearing the table after a meal or tidying up personal belongings
Parenting tips
- Self-regulation doesn’t happen overnight. However, children are very observant, so leading by example will help with their progression. Current research continues to support the belief that a parent’s own ability to self-regulate has a tremendous impact on their child.
- Teach and encourage your child to express their feelings, particularly when they show non-verbal signs of negative emotion: a slumped posture, prolonged fatigue, or obvious facial expressions.
- Praise your child when they continue to do things right, like picking up their toys, and always compliment them after a personal achievement.
- Establish clear family rules: for example, no hitting, no jumping on the furniture.
- Consistently use positive discipline strategies inside and outside the home.
- Encourage your child to play with other children, whether it is on the playground at school, a park, or on a sports team. Inviting peers over for play dates is a good idea, too.